Monday, August 6, 2012

KONY 2012

Hello teachers or students or anyone who will read my essay! Today, I'll tell you about the  Joseph Kony. First, watch the video underneath, and write your thought about this video, please.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc

So, was the video okay? The video is about dictator, name Joseph Kony, in Uganda. As you see and listen in the video, he catches kids in Uganda and make boys in to the soldier for protecting him, and make girls to his sexual servant. He is a dictator after Hitler, and Kadapi. You would see them at the below picture. The first picture is a picture of KONY 2012. Actually this project was made and started since 8 years ago. We didn't knew it because we had no thinking about it.
Any body who is reading this! NOW is the time to save the childrens of the Uganda and save the world. We have to concentrate on fighting the dictators through the world. It is only now. Or else we have no time. Ladies and Gentlemans, lets fight!

3 comments:

  1. But there are some bad things about KONY 2012. I posted a writing that does not support KONY 2012. Trust me. If you research about bad things about KONY 2012, I bet you will be surprised.....

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  2. Hi. Your writing TA Sohyeon here. A very concise essay. As the person above pointed out, though, there are some bad points about KONY 2012. It might be good to address the issues indirectly brought up by gwleem. The sentence would go like this: "Some people believe that the money collected by KONY 2012 is not being used fully for the Ugandans, but I think that since the Ugandan government is not doing anything to save the children from KONY, we should be protecting these children." So, basically "some people believe/think...but I think/it is true that..." By considering the issue of the other side, it would be more convincing.
    Good job :)

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  3. You start well, but need to develop the content more. As of now, this is 3 paragraphs that don't quite meet the expectations of a full essay. You did write a lot about Starcraft, so I think you could write more about a more important issue.

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